I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
