I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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