Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
This is my life. Enjoy the view
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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