12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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