One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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