The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
