i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
