all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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