Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
