Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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