idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
