A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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