pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i think my tv is drunk
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
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