My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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