how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
