great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
