All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
