Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I am midnight drunk by noon
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just pee around me
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
