I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
