Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
