If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
