True but thats because hes a fetus.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
