I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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