people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
