Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
