If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
