And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
