So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
