covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
