Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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