just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
