I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
