You're a womanizer and a bitch.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
