Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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