Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
