Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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