found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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