HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
