whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
