I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Randomize
