Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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