Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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