We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
