You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
