GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
