I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
