so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
