Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
