a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
