i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
