I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You ate ashes out of my bong
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
