whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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