New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
