I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
