you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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