Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
