when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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