I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
