I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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