D3 body, D1 cock
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
