she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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